I've been away from blogging too long. It's funny how one can be so honest and open for a season then when your life turns upside down, you just don't wanna talk about it anymore.  There's no good way to spin it, no "bright side" to rely on. Nevertheless, I have been writing a lot, mostly on screenplays with Maria (just put up a new joint venture site here)... not really writing any poetry or songs because I'm not comfortable with my emotional stability at the time. The last song I wrote... was hilarious... I wrote two lines and started crying. lol. So I'll just be patient with the songwriting for now.

Talking with Maria about how I need to finish my novel (which I barely started) but I can't get motivation to do it. So I'm pretty much throwing all my energy into screenwriting. Thank God for my fantastic writing partner Maria, without her I would have dried up completely by now.

somewhere in time a heart was broken
the sound of the break filled the earth
somewhere in space he left me a token
to give my heartache a hearth

somewhere in darkness I'm standing alone
no effort to pull myself through
somewhere in future the truth is known
and now alone standing are you

somewhere in past is a heart shy of grown
too young to see you how you are
somewhere today I stand on my own
and now all that's left is the scar

(C) 2009 Erica Kuhn. All Rights Reserved.

I have decided to make a list of things I will do as a new divorcé.  I'm 24, there's time to turn this thing around.  I am free to make my own mistakes, do stupid things I've never done.  And be myself until freedom is won.

I'm inspired by a lyric in one of my favorite John Mayer songs, I'm Gonna Find Another You. The line is, "I'm gonna do some things you wouldn't let me do / Oh, I'm gonna find another you."

Here's my list:

buy an ugly purse

wear something gaudy

get more tattoos

buy things i don't need

label my belongings in the most OCD way possible

organize my refrigerator in the most OCD way possible

clutter the countertops

leave my guitar in the living room, and my songbook on the coffee table

sleep in the middle of the bed (that one's hard to do!)

not hang pictures in the new place for at least a month

light a candle every day

cook lots of meals with ground meat

i will watch stupid movies

cuss when i'm mad

cry when i'm sad, and not leave the room or hide the tears

find myself, who i'm meant to be

find somebody that's right for me

It's been a while since I've been in touch. In the midst of personal crisis and I'm just getting over the emotional shock and depression of it... well not over it, but learning to deal with it. As of yet, my creativity is still remaining somewhat elusive but I'm looking forward to getting to work, editing and such, just to get back in it. Just thought I'd touch base my neglected peers. :)

Look forward to sharing more with you soon and getting back to being involved in your stuff too.

Erica